8.30.2008 || birthday proposition ||

It's an hour away from my 30th year of life on this world. I'm the type of person that can become over-zealous when it comes to personal reflection. Obviously. So I'm going to fight my natural urges, push forward and be direct.

Yes. I'm 30 years old. My life, if it lasts the average, is more or less half over. At this moment, it's not going very well. This is the hardest birthday I've ever faced. There's more on the line in the coming days and years that I've ever had to contend with. Without completely repeating my bio, I have to turn it around. I must succeed.

By this date in four years, I hope to be in a better state of mind. If not, then at least (as they say) "a better place." Yet as long as live the dream will never die. [rd]

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8.24.2008 || cripes and half ||

What am I doing? Why can't I just be straight up happy anymore?

This week has been...  bi-polar. It was another of frustration, but with some miniscule resolve. The money situation is more or less fixed. The interview the EDD yesterday was short and sweet. I will be getting paid sometime this week. Thankfully I was able to pay off all my bills in a timely manner thanks to selling off more of media at Streetlight Records. This coming check however will likely go directly to the oncoming payments. Maybe I should really start playing the lottery.

Speaking of payments. My car has been in the shop for over a week getting my Z06 chair installed and also to figure out what's causing the missfire. Upon checking it out yesterday, we found that one of the terminals on the cap and rotor was missing haha. Luckily that's a cheap fix. The guys at Victory Auto said it should be done tomorrow. And I can't wait to pick up it! On the other hand, I can definitely wait on paying the bill. Ha!

The housing situation is still null. However, we are meeting with some realters tomorrow to figure out what's available to us in our price range. Also "advantage homes," may be in the works as well. Those are really cheaply built community homes that are spacious enough but with no real garage - Cheap ownable houses, yet the land is forever on rent. We're looking into it. Tomorrow I will also get into the nitty gritty of packing things up.

School is moving... yah, moving. I completely forgot to enter the discussion portion on time, so my attendance will be faulted in a couple classes. Success Strategies class will be hit the most. In math I was confident in taking the test and should score well despite not actually opening the book this week. And Art, definitely my favorite subject thus far should be in good standing.

Art last week had required me to do 60 figurative gesture sketches within a short amount of time. I think I did well. My interest in comic book art from my youth has proved well in that I'm very confident in drawing human gestures and expressions. Thank you, "How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way."

The PS3 problem hasn't really been resolved and it sucks. I miss MGS4. I'm sure my clan( BandOfTheHawk ) is wondering what the hell happened to me. And there's no way for me to update the killboard on the frontpage. sigh

On a positive note, because I took back that monitor and the credit cleared, my grandfather was happy to use it on getting me a DS for my birthday. The way I see it, I still have Game Boy Advance games and no GBA or Micro, so the DS and Final Fantasy 4 will suit my gaming needs for now. However I'm still starting on Final Fantasy 6 GBA, and despite playing 20 minutes of FF4ds and being very impressed, I have to beat FF6 first because I never have. Sigh... there's definitely no comparison to playing Metal Gear Online, but it'll keep me busy for now. [rd]
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8.20.2008 || could be better...  ||

I am very unhappy at this point. School is going ok. Art is awesome, math is boring and success strategies is weird. Can't say I'm struggling too bad with it all, but the workload is potentially overloading - And it's only week 3. On a side note, I think I'll start uploading my art projects into the galleries section soon.

I haven't gotten paid from the EDD lately because I marked off that I was starting school. SO they are going to give me a phone interview in a few days and I have to clarify what is happening - Why I haven't started working yet, where I'm schooling et al. Such bad timing. I should have kept my mouth shut.

Because of this blunder, the media I've been selling - My game collections, movies, music - The money made to go toward a down payment has now gone to bills and I'm still short about $10. And considering I'm about $30 from complete pocketlessness is not a good feeling.

And we're still trying to find a place to live. We found a great place at a great price, but it was too out of the way for mother to want to travel to work everyday. I suppose I understand.

We are trying a different strategy. Since it costs so much to rent an actual house, we might be fortunate to just look into financing one thanks to all the recent cheap forclosures. Still, considering my grandfather's, mother's and my income, it will be a challenge.

And the bad luck reigns on. My PS3 has broken. It seams the blu-ray drive died. While I can still access games, music etc. on the hard drive, I can no longer play any disc media.  The PS3 is a functional brick of sorts.

Even worse is that I didn't bother to pay for a warranty. Considering the rest of the financial situation, I'll likely not get a new system anytime soon. sigh.

To top it off, since the PS3 has broken I decided to take back the HD monitor that grandfather had gotten me as an early birthday present. When we returned it, I was expecting to get the credit right away and purchase something else. Negatory - Best Buys policy had put the credit back onto grandfather's credit card instead. So now I have to wait a few days for that to clear again. And I don't think I'll even bother getting anything with his money afterall.  I'll figure out something with $50 gift card sooner or later.

Yeah, times are rough. And I'm not happy.

As for my hospitalized friend, Victor - He'll be getting out in a few days and will be on his way to live with his family in Arizona.

Godspeed, friend. [rd]
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8.10.2008 || Wk 1 ||

The first week of school was interesting. Some preassure being that it started on a wednesday made introductions and homework a litttle tight. And not to mention having to purchase more last minute tools and supplies for art class was no fun either. I enjoyed it no less. Definitely rusty with math and drawing, but  it's coming back to me. I can still do the basics and then some.

Moving is still a problem. We looked at one very promising house. It's run down on the outside, but the interior is great. Lots of room and it's affordable! And it has a garage. I just hope I have a car to put in there when the time comes. Heh.

The main problem is that its a bit of a drive from where my mother works and she doesn't like to commute. Where we live now is no more than a few minutes drive for her.

We'll see what happens. [rd]
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8.4.2008 || sigh ||

I feel like I'm being stretched apart here. One of ny best friends, Victor had a stroke and now my family is getting evicted because of greedy landlords. On top of that, I'm starting school and I want to keep a clear mind about my schooling. Over the next month I have to pack, sell my car and some of my belongings including my game collection in order to try and make a decent down payment for the new home.

I feel like I want to cry, but I just don't have time to do so.

On a brighter note, Victor is doing better since the stroke. His complection is no longer sickly pale and he's finally eating more solids. His family is visiting from Arizona and Southern California collectively. I met them and they picked up his belongings. It seams when he's able to get out of the hospital in a few weeks, his brother will fly him down to Arizona where his mother and family will care for him. I'm very glad about that. It could be months, hell maybe a year or so before he can regain full or partial mobility - Walking and such. At least he'll be alive. [rd]
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8.2.2008 || Soul Calibur IV ||

I picked up Soul Calibur IV for the PS3. My expectations weren't very high, but quality titles for the PS3 are somewhat elusive at the moment. I figured it would be great for the first couple hours, just like past iterations of the game - And furthermore become more bargain-bin material.

Hmm... this is starting to become a review.... I'll get to the gist of it and save this for a review later.

After almost a week of hard play in and out of on-line competition, I'm actually quite impressed. The network play (not without its shortcomings) and character creation feature is what stands out in the game. I was able to create key characters and all of the "Band of the Hawk" crew from my favorite anime/manga, "Berserk" without much of a problem. Time consuming of course, but damn fun!

Playing against others in network competition really brings out this character creation process. There's some very clever costumes I've witnessed - Noteworthy are SPIDEY (Spider-Man) and the Incredible Hulk.  And you can Youtube other creations as well.

Aside from the $60 game, I went so far as to purchase the official SC-IV Hori Arcade Joystick for the PS3 which IMO makes play easier and fun in a nostalgic way. I am a gamer that grew up on quarter-fed arcade cabinets.

Soul Calibur IV is a keeper! Get it! [rd]
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8.1.2008 || eviction notice ||

Aside from the relative FURY I have for this even getting in the way of schooling - I have two minds on this matter. 1) Well great, we finally HAVE to leave this shithole. 2) How the hell are we going to afford to leave this shithole?

With Victor out of the paying picture - My mother, grandfather and I make enough for rent. So now we have to come up with a down payment of some sort.

There's nothing official yet as we're still trying to figure out the complete situation with our current landlord, but it looks like I'm going to have to sacrifice something. And that something could very well be Deus Emergo, my Firebird.

It will not be fun to do, but I'm prepared. Besides, when I'm done with school and become a working professional, I'm sure I'll get something nicer.... or faster. [rd]

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